Rex and Sun News takes suzuki to task for his ads threatening children. Fear mongering is a green tradition. Remember the ad where children blew up?
Santa Claus and his company are no longer at the North Pole! There's something of an all-points bulletin - or whatever is the polar equivalent - out on the famous Claus household. The whole batch of them, consisting of the familiar Santa, his wife (first name unknown) Mrs. Claus, and the band of elves with whom, apparently, the Clauses (chastely) cohabit, are missing and presumed wet.
Our authority for this is no less than the renowned David Suzuki Foundation, which has sounded the alarm and asked for money to help the great jolly Christmas icon relocate. Its new website, wherewillsantalive.ca, claims that, thanks to global warming, "The North Pole is no longer safe for Santa's workshop." It also shows Suzuki, done up in elf gear, escorting Santa's sled as it floats in the waters off the decaying polar ice.